Take your pick: Thumper or Rocky.
I came upon this while thumbing through a cookbook at my mother’s house. The brittle, crumbling volume held together by rubber bands and tape was a wedding gift.
She was married in 1963.
Indeed, judging by the recipes for Swedish meatballs, Waldorf salad and beef Stroganoff and the overuse of gelatin and [...]
What does one say when the family unit is gathered around the Christmas tree, after having finished a meal, and the matriarch unexpectedly hauls out a circa-1975 Barbie doll trunk and opens it?
Perhaps one keeps quiet for a moment as memories flood the brain. Not recollections of childhood innocence, but those of a more devious [...]
Do you read your Spam?
I do. It’s that sick part of me that pretends I have so much fan mail that it takes pages and pages to get through it all.
… ahem …
Here is a sampler of what my fans around the globe say to me:
“Hi there, I found your blog via Google while searching [...]
Sometimes I wonder:
– Am I the only person who has one set of behaviors for public and another for behind closed doors? The other day I was eating while reading a magazine. I took a moment to come up for air. Crumbs were scattered all over the table and floor. I probably was chewing with my [...]
with apologies to Jack Handy:
I think there should be rules for blogging. Like, if I read on your blog that every once in a while you slip into a wet suit, recline on a chaise longue and listen to “Madama Butterfly” while your Irish Setter licks your bare feet, I won’t mention it when I [...]
While strolling through a street fair in my town, I came upon this display in front of one of those eclectic shops that sells vintage toys and odd collectibles. Two nearly naked plastic baby dolls posed inside a toy convertible sedan, engaged in all forms of self-gratification and self-destruction. Yet, through the haze of smoke [...]
This is a multiple choice quiz:
A. This is actually a very tiny plate.
B. There was a broccoli special too good to pass on at the nearby Farmer’s Market.
C. The chef thought the world needed more bloating and intestinal gas.
D. I checked the vegetarian meal option on my response card.
Push the pretty buttons
Did you play with one of those plastic bug catchers when you were a child?
I did. It’s how I learned the difference between a grasshopper and a cricket and a praying mantis.
It’s how I learned that spiders are arachnids and not insects.
It’s how I learned that moms do not like it when you bring these [...]
We’ll never replace the one we lost in January, but we are happy to have a furniture- and curtain-shredding, leg climbing, food- and water-dish spilling, meowing little troublemaker in our midst again.
Push the pretty buttons
I suppose this is what I get for going to a fast food restaurant in the first place:
(For years, I prided myself in avoiding them. I was disciplined. But things change. Budgets get tighter. Schedules get funky. Certain people fall asleep in the car when you are hungry and miles from home. Certain sleepy people [...]
